Hideout

Contributor: Elizabeth Brown

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Gula said she was a ghost. It was the last two weeks of summer.
“So how did you die?” I asked. We were sitting under a willow tree in the pasture, making a list of supplies we needed for our hideout. The sun blazed like a scourge.
“I climbed out the window.”
“And then what?” I asked.
“I crawled over to the edge and slipped off.”
“What did it feel like?”
“It was like floating.”
“So are you an angel now?”
“I can’t say. Not allowed.”
We shook our heads, chuckled. The sun moved behind a cloud. A crow cawed in the distance. Katydids chirped. A mother called a child home. We lived on Sigourney Drive, all three of us—Gula, Trey and me. We clung to each other like timid mice, convinced terrorists were invading soon. Trey was the only boy. But we never thought about that. He seemed like one of us, until he pulled out his penis. “Hey, my dad said men can do it this way.”
We were eleven-years old, on the cusp of puberty. We spent our remaining days of summer in the pasture behind our homes, up a hill, under the barbed wire fence, a mile or so from Peterson’s Farm, and Ronald Peterson, the senile old man who once shot a trespasser. That was scary enough, but innocuous. The war in the Middle East, on the other hand, with blood and gore, real images we glimpsed on the news, was something else.
The terrorists were coming. We were building a hideout. “It’s only a matter of time,” Gula said. She was the deciding factor. Gula was born in Afghanistan and lost her parents and most of her relatives there. She was the tallest and skinniest of us. She barely ate. She said she was named after Sharbat Gula, a famous girl who had her photograph on National Geographic. “We have the same eyes, and her parents were murdered like mine.”
“That’s sad,” I said, unsure of how to respond.
“That’s why I don’t eat much. I think I should honor her. She never had food."
"Can you eat chocolate at least?" I asked. Gula shrugged her shoulders and smiled. She rarely showed her teeth and always wore a scarf she called a hijab. It was pale green and matched the color of her eyes.
“Why don’t you wear a different color?” Trey asked one day. I wanted to hit him.
“Like what?”
“Maybe yellow?”
Gula smiled. She was so forgiving that way. And a few days later, she wore yellow. But on the way to our hideout, we got attacked by a swarm of bees. Gula was stung four times—she was the only one that couldn’t run fast enough. We didn’t wait for her. I kept thinking she was a clumsy American, not at all like Sharbat Gula. I never told her that though. It was Trey’s fault. He kept poking at a bee hive. But, Gula blamed the yellow hijab, and went back to the green.
The hideout was in the beginning stages. We found an upturned tree to use for the base and started a pile of downed limps and brush for the wall. It was the last day we were together. Gula had stuffed a tarp and some twine in her backpack and Trey brought his pocket knife. He kept taking it out of his pocket and opening it.
“You’re not going to cut anything with that,” I said to him, smugly.
“You know how sharp this is?” He took it out again. “See the hair on my arm?” He grazed his arm with the blade. “Look…look how clean.”
That’s when we heard a loud popping.
“The terrorists,” Gula said.
“It could be fireworks,” I offered.
“No, I know," said Gula. "I’ve heard it before.”
“You’re an American,” I said.
“It’s in my subconscious mind. I know by instinct. I know the sounds of enemy fire.”
“Do you think they’re here?” I asked. I felt my heart in my chest. Even though I knew it was all a game, and I was placating Gula, some part of me imagined it could be real.
“Not the terrorists, you idiots. But maybe that crazy old man,” Trey suggested.
“Either way, we need to hide.” My eyes darted, nervously. The hideout wasn’t built. I considered climbing a tree.
“I’ll stay here. I’m dead already. Ghosts can’t die,” Gula said. She wasn’t laughing.
The popping sounds grew louder.
“There’s no time.” Gula started gesturing madly as if some unseen force was about to rain down on us. Her hijab was slipping from her head. She struggled to adjust it; her hands shook—too much so for a ghost, I decided. But, I trusted her. She had Afghan blood. She was born there, like she said, born into strife, war, so maybe she had a stronger sense about it all.
“Let’s go!” I yelled.
It was dusk. The air was heavy, a fever of heat bore down on us. We ran. At one point, I looked back and saw Gula; she was a smudge of green. She was not even trying. Did she actually think she was dead?
“Gula, come on!” I heard Trey yell, saw the vein bulging on his neck. I noticed he was crying. We were a mile or so from Sigourney Drive, just a bit more and we’d be safe. The popping didn’t let up.
I envisioned enemy soldiers behind us, closing in, clad in camouflage, guns strapped, pointed, flushed faces, boots stained with blood and dung. I knew then, our hideout was ridiculous and that nowhere was safe. I looked back before crawling under the barbed wire. Gula was gone.
When I finally did see Gula, a few weeks later, we passed in the hallway of Saint Ives Middle School. She was wearing a purple hijab. I smiled at her. She cast her eyes downward and walked right past me, as if I were the enemy.


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Elizabeth Brown has short fiction appearing or forthcoming in Linguistic Erosion, Barleby Snopes, The Milo Review, Sleet, Apocrypha and Abstractions, among others. In addition to writing short stories, she is currently seeking representation for her novel, a psychological thriller. This story originally appeared in Pithead Chapel.
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The Seized

Contributor: Elizabeth Brown

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I couldn’t resist, so we broke the rules. I seduced my wife, and they seized my family.
“We must be cursed,” I said. “It’s the end of us.” In one single moment, my life was teetering downhill, fast, faster— unhinged like a wagon let loose or a bike with no brakes.
“Why do you talk like that, Eliot? We are certainly not cursed.”
“We did it to ourselves and our future generations.” I feigned confidence. Inside I shook with trepidation, sadness—all of it wrapped into one volatile mess. My heart pumped, temples pulsated. Time was short.
“You’re not making sense, Eliot. We have each other, a beautiful baby, food, shelter.”
“We are not free, Mona. Don’t you want your freedom? What good is any of this without freedom? Department of Environmental Factions, DEF, controls us. Don’t you see that?”
She ignored me, kissed my chest, her tongue licking parts that made me forget about freedom. She reached up and put her hand against my mouth. I pushed her away. No, not again. The clock was ticking.
“Let’s do it. Please, Mona. Let’s escape!”
“Just stop, Eliot. You’re scaring me with this kind of talk.”
“I’ve been reading, Mona, I’ve been reading a lot. I found these old magazines from over half a century ago in a box in the attic.”
“Always so full of drama aren’t you? What do you want me to say, Eliot? It’s the past, gone. We have to think of the present. How can you be so foolish? How dare you risk our lives?”
“What lives? What about democracy and freedom? We have no life, no liberty here. We are prisoners. What we just did—it’s the end of us, Mona. Don’t you know that? DEF holds unlimited power; they can seize you at any moment.”
“Stop, Eliot. Stop, please. There’s no point to it. Others have gotten away with it. We’ll be fine.”
“We are not fine. We need to get out of here now, Mona.”
“Are you sure? Maybe you want us to be caught like Shirley’s husband. Maybe that’s it. She knew. She told me he was going to get rid of her. He made sure the devices were on and she was gone the next morning. How convenient. How convenient for all you bored husbands. Now he’s got himself a new wife, ten years his junior. She sank down into the bed, covered her face in her hands. “Help me, Eliot. I feel ill. Is it worth it? Is she worth it? I thought you loved us.”
I loathed the sight of my wife. She was brainwashed; she would never get it. She was the new society, weakened, subjugated, ruled by fear--it knocked us out; we lost our minds, teetered on the edge of insanity.
Not me. Not anymore. I slipped out my shell, had an epiphany. I caught a glimpse in the attic, in the books and magazines. I wanted more.
Ten years since Esther, the big one, the storm that altered our world. The moon, the one constant, cast a blue pall over our bodies.
“What have we done? I love you, Jesus, I love you.” Mona, her nakedness, her breath, finger tips up and down my arm. Elise stirred and whimpered in the bassinet.
“Sh. I love you, too, Eliot. We love each other. That’s all. How could that be a crime? I think you want to leave me. I think you’re tired of me. I don’t know anymore. I can’t trust anyone, not even my husband.”
“We made love, Mona. That’s okay in a normal world. We don’t live in a normal world. They can see us right now. DEF—they are outside the window and on the ceiling and in the fucking walls! Believe me. For God’s sake, Mona, they’re going to seize you and our baby. I don’t know when.” I was sobbing, a pitiful animal. The truth stuck like knives in my chest. She stared at me, blankly—eyes like black dots, unaffected, programmed. Her complexion was ghostly, ashen, her aura a flimsy veil of misty coral—morose, displaced.
“You’re lying. It’s a ploy. You don’t want me anymore. Just say it, damn you. Just tell me the truth, for once. Don’t do this to me, Eliot. Don’t do this to your baby. It makes no sense, no sense at all. You’re a viper—a monster, to do this to your wife and baby.”
She was in a deep, dark denial. She’d never get it until she was seized and our baby was ripped out of her arms. And then it would be too late. I couldn’t reach her—so many were unreachable. Maybe DEF was tainting the food or water supply. Maybe we were all being poisoned.
“Mona, it is a crime. You know it. I know it. Passion is a crime.”
A siren sounded outside. Mona froze.
“What now?” I felt my pulse quicken, my throat tighten. This was it. “What do we do now, Mona?”
“Sh. Keep your voice down. You’ve done it this time. Go ahead. Go to your bitch. I feed Elise, that’s what I do. I’m her mother.”
I watched her pull away, reach for the baby. Her long sleek body stretched across the bed like a sun spreading over the horizon. And it hit me like a rogue wave, pulling me down to the deepest, darkest region, the stygian depths. I gasped, panicked, grabbed her arm like a drowning swimmer, pressed her into me. “I’m sorry, Mona. I’m so sorry.” My voice cracked, pained, broken. I wanted air, death.
Mona cradled my head with one arm and held Elise to her breast with the other. “Please don’t leave me, Eliot.”
I swore I’d never fall asleep. I swore it.
I woke to an empty bed. The last thing I remember was the sound of Elise’s suckling.
They did it— drugged me so I slept.
That’s how they did it.


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Elizabeth Brown is a native of Connecticut. Her short fiction is published or forthcoming in BareBack Magazine, Empty Sink Publishing, TreeHouse, Bartleby Snopes, Contraposition, and Sleet Magazine's spring edition (2014). She studied writing at the University of Connecticut under Wally Lamb and Joan Joffe Hall and is a two time recipient of the1997 and 1998 Jennie Hackman Memorial Award for Short Fiction.
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