Contributor: Jon Wesick
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A werewolf and a vampire sat on a ratty couch watching a black-and-white, Boris Karloff movie on TV. Their looks weren’t unusual, just two guys in their twenties. Though it was almost 10:00 AM, neither had shaved.
“So what do you want to do, today?” the werewolf asked.
He was stocky, maybe 210 pounds, with frizzy, blonde hair the length of his forearms and he wore red, plaid pajama bottoms with a moth-eaten, blue T-shirt. The vampire also dressed sloppily in SDSU running shorts and a gray hoodie. He was thin with pretty-boy features, piercing blue eyes, and skin too pale for someone with such dark hair.
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” The vampire sipped coffee from a Garfield mug.
“We could get some virgins to fall in love with us and then refuse to have sex with them until we’re married.”
“Boring!”
“How about forming teams, your friends versus my friends in a struggle for world domination?” The werewolf poured Dog Chow into a cereal bowl, set the twenty-pound bag back on the coffee table, and topped the bowl off with milk.
“That’s so last year.” The vampire used the remote to cycle through TV channels. “Why don’t you fly to London and then go really old school?”
“Been there. Done that. Hey, you could darken your skin like in Black Like Me and go hang out in Harlem.” The werewolf lifted the bowl, spooned kibble in his mouth, and chewed with loud crunches.
The vampire shrugged and changed channels.
“We could start a private detective agency or team up with a hot, female pathologist to battle an evil coven.”
“Let’s not and say we did.”
“Give an interview to a reporter? Become rock stars? Free an ancient vampire queen from a crystal pyramid and then stop her from taking over the world?”
“Nah, how about setting up an isolated retreat center for traumatized humans so we could really scare them?”
“Where’d we get the money?”
“Good point.”
“I know. We could each have a crisis of conscience and spend the rest of our lives hunting gangsters, terrorists, or Wall Street bankers.”
“We could do that or I don’t know.” The vampire turned back to the Boris Karloff movie. “Suppose we get jobs at a hospital and pretend to be ordinary humans except that we have wacky supernatural adventures?”
“We could be cowboys.”
“You’d eat the herd whenever there was a full moon.”
“Astronauts?”
“We’d run out of food after eating everyone aboard the space ship.”
“Deep-sea divers?”
The vampire gave his roommate a pained look.
“If we don’t think of something new, we’ll end up doing the same thing we do every night.” The werewolf shook the milk carton.
“We’re out of milk.” He got up, tossed it in the trash, and returned to the couch. “So what do you want to do?”
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Host of the Gelato Poetry Series, instigator of the San Diego Poetry Un-Slam, and an editor of the San Diego Poetry Annual, Jon Wesick has published more than fifty short stories in journals such as Space and Time, Zahir, Tales of the Talisman, Blazing Adventures, and Metal Scratches. He has also published over two hundred fifty poems. Jon has a Ph.D. in physics and is a longtime student of Buddhism and the martial arts.
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A werewolf and a vampire sat on a ratty couch watching a black-and-white, Boris Karloff movie on TV. Their looks weren’t unusual, just two guys in their twenties. Though it was almost 10:00 AM, neither had shaved.
“So what do you want to do, today?” the werewolf asked.
He was stocky, maybe 210 pounds, with frizzy, blonde hair the length of his forearms and he wore red, plaid pajama bottoms with a moth-eaten, blue T-shirt. The vampire also dressed sloppily in SDSU running shorts and a gray hoodie. He was thin with pretty-boy features, piercing blue eyes, and skin too pale for someone with such dark hair.
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” The vampire sipped coffee from a Garfield mug.
“We could get some virgins to fall in love with us and then refuse to have sex with them until we’re married.”
“Boring!”
“How about forming teams, your friends versus my friends in a struggle for world domination?” The werewolf poured Dog Chow into a cereal bowl, set the twenty-pound bag back on the coffee table, and topped the bowl off with milk.
“That’s so last year.” The vampire used the remote to cycle through TV channels. “Why don’t you fly to London and then go really old school?”
“Been there. Done that. Hey, you could darken your skin like in Black Like Me and go hang out in Harlem.” The werewolf lifted the bowl, spooned kibble in his mouth, and chewed with loud crunches.
The vampire shrugged and changed channels.
“We could start a private detective agency or team up with a hot, female pathologist to battle an evil coven.”
“Let’s not and say we did.”
“Give an interview to a reporter? Become rock stars? Free an ancient vampire queen from a crystal pyramid and then stop her from taking over the world?”
“Nah, how about setting up an isolated retreat center for traumatized humans so we could really scare them?”
“Where’d we get the money?”
“Good point.”
“I know. We could each have a crisis of conscience and spend the rest of our lives hunting gangsters, terrorists, or Wall Street bankers.”
“We could do that or I don’t know.” The vampire turned back to the Boris Karloff movie. “Suppose we get jobs at a hospital and pretend to be ordinary humans except that we have wacky supernatural adventures?”
“We could be cowboys.”
“You’d eat the herd whenever there was a full moon.”
“Astronauts?”
“We’d run out of food after eating everyone aboard the space ship.”
“Deep-sea divers?”
The vampire gave his roommate a pained look.
“If we don’t think of something new, we’ll end up doing the same thing we do every night.” The werewolf shook the milk carton.
“We’re out of milk.” He got up, tossed it in the trash, and returned to the couch. “So what do you want to do?”
- - -
Host of the Gelato Poetry Series, instigator of the San Diego Poetry Un-Slam, and an editor of the San Diego Poetry Annual, Jon Wesick has published more than fifty short stories in journals such as Space and Time, Zahir, Tales of the Talisman, Blazing Adventures, and Metal Scratches. He has also published over two hundred fifty poems. Jon has a Ph.D. in physics and is a longtime student of Buddhism and the martial arts.
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Jon Wesick
