Lobster Love

Contributor: Leonard Treman

- -
The fortune cookie read, “First, the unthinkable will happen. Then there will be world peace. Then a lobster will ask your hand in marriage. Then the world will end.”

Clara began to laugh hysterically. That fortune cookie was awful. She looked at her fiancé and said, “Have you ever seen anything like that in a fortune cookie before?”

Her husband to be, Bill looked her in the face and said, “No.”

His nose twitched, his nose always twitched when he lied.

“Can’t you ever tell the truth?” Clara asked.

“Of course I can,” Bill said.

Clara sighed and let it go; it was not worth a fight.

The next morning she drove to work. She was a teacher at cobblestone elementary, but more than that, she was a kindergarten teacher. She started her day and noticed that the teacher’s assistant had given them all Sippy cups. It looked to be apple juice in each one.

Later that day, Clara looked down at all the little angels and smiled. For once, they were all doing what they were supposed to do and not running amuck.

Clara thought, I always thought the day the kids all behave is the day the world ends.

Clara had a brief suspicion and turned on the class radio for a moment. “, and in a historic movement the US senate and house have universally voted to become one with the super nation called the United Nation in desperation to try to com-,” Clara shut off the radio. She had a suspicion what was going on.

Clara thought warmly, Bill is such an idiot.

A tapping came at the window. Clara looked over and saw a giant lobster. Her first inclination would have been to scream or go to the doctor, but she had some idea who the lobster was and what he wanted.

She opened the window to the fake looking lobster costume. It was wearing khakis on some very human looking legs. The lobster suit tail hung from the back of the suit which seemed to drape over her fiancé’s shoulders.

The giant red claw held out a diamond engagement ring into the window.

“Bill, are you serious? Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” Clara asked.

Bill stood there silent staring at her.

Clara smiled, “You are so weird, but yes! I will marry you,” she leaned forward and gave the mask a kiss when a sudden pounding came at the door.

Clara broke from the kiss and grabbed the box from the lobster claw and walked to the door.

When she opened the thick wood door, Bill fell inside. He was missing an arm that’s stub was covered in blood.

“They’ve drugged the water supply,” Bill said lying on the floor coughing up blood.

Clara looked over at the kids who were as complacent as vegetables.

He began to convulse violently and he grabbed Clara’s arm and looked up at her.

“Whatever you do, don’t say no,” Bill said.

He fell over, and passed out from blood loss.

Clara blinked a couple times to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

She wasn’t.

- - -
Leonard Treman is a 23 year old author who lives in Michigan, USA. He's been published 5 times so far and hopes to one day go pro.
Read more »
These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google
  • Furl
  • Reddit
  • Spurl
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati

Help keep Linguistic Erosion alive! Visit our sponsors! :)- - -