The Aburrido Burrito

Contributor: Scott Harmon

- -
The business meeting was going great. Everyone along the shiny black table had gotten along and it looked as though we were all going to be billionaires. There was one man however that hadn’t said a word. He was the new guy. I hired him out of a Burger King because I thought he was brilliant. Call it one of those hunch things. In his short career he had said very little. He seemed to always have a steely intensity in his eyes. I was having some doubts about him.
Anyways, Mr. Johnson had just made a side splitting joke. We were all in riotous laughter. After it died down, there was a moment of silence.
That’s when it happened. The new guy spoke. He raised his hand shyly and said “Uh I know this doesn’t have much to do with the meeting, but I was thinking we should start a new Mexican restaurant chain called The Aburrido Burrito.” Everyone kind of stared at him blankly, confused. He quickly elaborated and said “You see, aburrido in Spanish means boring.”
Vice President Haskins was clearly annoyed and sputtered, “Wait, why would anyone want to go to the boring burrito?!”
The new guy sat perplexed for a moment or two admitting to himself that he never thought of this. He finally answered, “Because it sounds cool?”
Now I was angry. I really let him have it. I said “Look man, we don’t hire fools like you to come up with crap like this!” I was fuming. I let myself burn for a few seconds, then I erupted. “I should have let you die at that Burger King! Your idea, it’s worthless! Take your junk and hit the road!” And that was that.
I expected him to be offended and storm out. Instead he let out an evil cackle that lasted so long it gave everyone the chills. He finally spoke maniacally. “You fools! You’re all fools! You think I’m stupid. Well guess what?! I’ve done all the secret paper work. When your backs were turned! I own this company! The Aburrido Burrito will be the ultimate empire!” He let out another cackle.
We all thought he had lost his marbles until the armed guards barged in and carried us away. I had no idea where they were taking us until I saw a giant door with a sign saying “The Aburrido Burrito Training Camp.” I knew I was in biiiig trouble. . .

- - -
I'm 31 and I have been actively writing since 2005. I started out doing micro fiction(although not realizing it until later) and poetry. I progressed into longer short stories. I spend most of my time writing screenplays or comic books. I have a feature length written and other shorts, but right now I am outside of the actual business.
Read more »
These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • Sphinn
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google
  • Furl
  • Reddit
  • Spurl
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati

Help keep Linguistic Erosion alive! Visit our sponsors! :)- - -