TV All The Time

Contributor: Jerry Guarino

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David sat in front of his big screen television, set the sound field on his digital home theater and basked in the color and sound of the hockey game. Home theaters and HDTV cameras had made watching at home virtually as good as going to the arena and a whole lot less expensive; you just had to provide your own food. Add a girl that liked the game, a pizza and good wine and you had a date night to remember. David had mastered the art of at home dating on the cheap, thanks to his home theater, an investment that kept paying him back.

College students usually put their money into clothing or cars, but David wore his jeans and t-shirts while building a Blu-Ray collection of movies women liked.

Insider’s note: some readers will think this is the same David that created the bird feeder in Practical Goldberg: A Love Story in 3 Parts – yes, it is, but that was later in his quest for love.
Engineers are like that, carefully analyzing the project needs, putting together the resources required and building a system methodically with constant refinement. His liberal arts friends may be conversant in literature and music, but David could simply buy the appropriate movie or music required for that particular girl’s tastes. He did his research, carefully scanning through FB and Twitter pages before making an introduction. His online page had one picture; a romantically lit room, a soft leather couch, the black BOSE home theater system and a 61” HDTV screen with Andrea Bocelli singing in Tuscany; he even synched music to the page. When women checked it out, half the work of luring them to his small apartment was done. The page did the hard work, giving the women a glimpse of a romantic date. It looked safe and it was. David never treated his dates as captives or forced them to do anything. Your reputation is everything in college and David found himself dating friends of past date nights, usually with the recommendation “You just have to see his room”. Women saw the room and willingly offered to bring their favorite music or movie for the night. More often than not, that wasn’t the highlight of the evening. He even had requests from multiple coeds, with David the lone male providing simple food and drink and the girls fighting over what to watch. David had perfected the love nest and he kept that secret away from his male buddies, never allowing them in.

One day, while sitting in the campus coffee shop, a message popped on his screen.

Kelly(@kellywinter) is now following you.

David opened the link to see Kelly’s twitter page. She was a coed at his college, a Psychology major and member of the field hockey team. “Hmm, pretty, athletic and smart” He sent a simple message to her,

Hi Kelly, thanks for following. David

and then went back to his iced tea. After a few minutes another message appeared.

Hi David. I love the picture of Bocelli on the big screen; is that the Tuscany DVD?

David waited a minute, pulled up the link to Bocelli’s Blu-ray disc, ‘Vivere, Live in Tuscany and sent it to Kelly with this note.

Yes, Vivere on blu-ray, amazing sound.

Most college guys would have tried to lure girls with some rock star music, but David knew what coeds wanted, a mature guy, a less common university species. Kelly quickly replied.

Are you a music major?

David paused long enough to consider his answer.

No, engineering, but I love music.

It’s not a good idea to lie; the truth always comes out. Engineering may not be sexy, but David had his picture online and he looked more like an English lit grad student so his major didn’t turn girls off.

My minor is classical music; I love Bocelli.

David wanted to invite her over (her picture was online too and she was quite pretty), but he knew from experience it was better to be asked than to invite. He kept the feed going.

The blu-ray classical DVDs are so rich. I just bought some Mozart piano concertos. If you close your eyes, you’d think he was playing live.

Kelly was hooked now.

I play piano. Mozart is so refined. I wish we had a piano in the dorm.

David had another clue; the dorm was only for freshman. Could this lovely be 19?

The dorm was fun my freshman year, but I needed my own space for studying and the frats weren’t for me.

This line was his way of saying he didn’t spend his weekends downing beer by the case, an essential piece of information to convey. He saw his opening.

I have a keyboard on my system, I’m not much of a musician, but I like to tinker.

Kelly was very interested. She was ready to invite herself in, but needed to know it was safe; she didn’t really know enough about David.

My friend Susan is a music major. Maybe we could come over to hear the Vivere concert sometime, if that’s OK? We could bring some Chianti.

David couldn’t believe his luck.

Is pizza OK? I put all my money into my system.

Kelly sent a picture of her and her friend Susan, friends from Manchester by the Sea on the beach along with a message.

Pizza is great. How about Friday at 8?

David took one look at the rich girls from Boston in their bikinis, thanked God for his good luck and responded simply, but politely.

That sounds perfect. I’ll send you my address and phone number.

David waited for Kelly to sign off, then packed up his computer for home. As he walked out, he noticed the pretty coed in the corner doing the same. He smiled at her and realized it was Kelly.

“Hi Kelly.”

“Hi David. Want to share a pizza?”

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Jerry Guarino’s short stories have been published by dozens of magazines in the United States, Canada, Australia and Great Britain. His latest book, "50 Italian Pastries", is available on and as a Kindle eBook. Please visit his website at
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