My Protector

Contributor: J. Figueroa

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(Shots fired) my love, my hustler, my protector is gone. I hide under my bed as far away from my window. Momma is a crack head so I don’t think she paid it any attention. Dad was never around so I’m afraid. Who will protect me? I am only 19 years old. Who do I run to? There is nobody around just him. The man I am always staring at pass by my window everyday. He looks so confident. I am sure I will never be afraid if I were wrapped in his arms; and his money, oh God he must have lots of it. Someone like him I would love, not a crack head who would not even notice if I were gone; or a person who forgot I even exist. He stares back at me and I like that. He is always outside making his money but I hate that he always has to run. Cops are always after him and men are always looking to scare him but he is the street’s most dangerous hustler I am sure he can protect me as he protects himself.

I remember being afraid to go outside. I always felt so alone. Mom was more focused on her drugs I cant remember the last time she asked how my day went in school. Dad used to come home from work and leave again. He always argued with my mom about being a crack head. She did not dress up any more. She never cooked or cleaned. My house was always a big mess. Daddy stopped coming back. I think he left us for someone else. Family nights only consisted of myself. I used to look out the window hoping that someday I would not be afraid anymore. The hustlers were always looking out for everyone especially one in particular. He was so fine. His confidence was amazing. His body was sent from heaven and he dressed in the most expensive fashion and jewelry that shined like stars. I always admired him. He was everything I dreamed for and I knew I would never have to be afraid again if I had him.

I wake up for school but I am staying in today to admire him. He has not looked at me yet but I know soon he will. He doesn’t seem like himself today. I wonder what is wrong. The neighborhood seems quiet I guess because everyone is in school. I make myself something to eat with the little we have at home but all I care about is admiring him. He has me caught up in a love spell. A spell of protection that he does not even know about but he hasn’t looked at me yet and it bothers me. I run to shower and get dolled up maybe then he will notice me. Black V-neck tank top to show off my caramel chest, I put my hair up so my neck can be exposed and some red lipstick so my lips can stand out, and some shorts to finish. I run to the window once I’m done maybe now he will notice me. What is going on? A drive by? I begin to worry. I don’t see him anymore. He has not looked at me yet. Where could he be? My love, my hustler, my protector, I want him. I need him but everyone wants him gone. Did they hurt him? Did the cops take him in? People want his money. They don’t want him in the game. Did they rob him? I need him to walk by once more. I want to keep admiring him. Where is he? He is my confidant man. I need his protection. I need him to notice me. Did anyone protect him? Where is he? My protector is gone.

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"J.Figueroa, a mother of three; building her career as a writer. She is currently a Full Sail University 'Creative writing for entertainment' student."
Hope my work inspires you as it has me.
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