Patsy Foley Was Roly-Poly in 1947

Contributor: Donal Mahoney

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It may have been the devil himself who prompted the kids in my schoolyard back in 1947 to chant "Patsy Foley's roly-poly from eating too much ravioli."

At first, no one could remember who started the chant. Patsy, a sweet and ample child, was in the third grade. As happenstance would have it, I was in that same third grade, infamous already as the only boy wearing spectacles in our class. After I got the glasses, I had three schoolyard fights in three days to prove to Larry Moore, Billy Gallagher and Fred Ham that I hadn't changed a bit. You would think I would have forgotten their names by now. Not a chance. I didn't like being messed with in third grade.

Since the chant would often begin and gather volume during recess, the nuns who ran the school eventually heard it and did their best to put a stop to it. This was a time when nuns, God bless them, were empowered by parents to swat the butts of little miscreants if any of them interrupted the educational process. Despite their voluminous habits, the nuns were adept at administering discipline, let me tell you, as my butt, on more than one occasion, could attest.

Now, 65 years later, when the chant pops into my mind, I begin to wonder what prompted me to say it. Early on, I certainly loved to hear the sound of words bouncing off each other--as if words were pool balls scattered by a cue. Later on I would use words to earn a living. They were the only tools I was any good with.

As I remember it now, the chant started one day after a school practice in church involving Gregorian chant. Some of the other kids later alleged that they had heard me, of all people, on the way back to class, chanting "Patsy Foley's roly-poly from eating too much ravioli."

I probably had some idea of the problem my chant might cause. But I loved the sound of it too much to stop.

If Dick Clark had been on American Bandstand back in 1947, he might have said the chant had "a nice beat" to it, but kids weren't dancing much in 1947. World War II had just ended and school was a serious matter. Even kids who didn't like books usually tried their best.

Since I was only in third grade, one might think that I might have had some emotional or mental problem that caused me to chant that phrase over and over. That could be. If a child did something like that today, he or she might be examined for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Maybe I had something like that. But in my mind the reason I chanted about Patsy Foley is that I liked the sound. It didn't hurt that my father was always saying things at home that had a bit of a turn to them. I remember how I used to enjoy the cadence of what he said and repeating it when he wasn't around. He used words differently than other fathers in the neighborhood and he delivered them in a melodic Irish brogue.

My mother, who was bereft of verbal rhythm, would sometimes ask my father a serious question when he was fresh home from a hard day's work, climbing alley poles as an electrician. Usually her question would pertain to some family matter that she had been fretting about all day. And my father, sitting on a chair in our little kitchen while stripping off his gear, might say in response, "And what would Mary Supple say to that?"

It's a shame that over the years my mother, sister and I never found out who Mary Supple was because her name was frequently invoked. Nor did we ever find out who John Godley was, either, even though my father would sometimes substitute John Godley for Mary Supple in that same response. He never said these things in anger, although he did have a terrific temper. He could erupt at any time and you didn't want to get in the way of the lava.

At other times, when my father was asked a question by my mother at an inconvenient time, he might look her in the eye and say, "Ten thousand Swedes ran through the weeds chased by one Norwegian," a line that did not originate with him but was one that he repeated with a special flair. The words certainly sounded good to me, whatever they meant. We didn't know any Swedes or Norwegians and had no idea if there might be some conflict going on between them. True, World War II had just ended but we didn't think the Swedes and Norwegians had been actively involved.

Sometimes my mother on a Sunday morning would ask my father if he was going to get dressed for church. He might have been taking a sip of his fifth cup of tea at the time. He wouldn't get angry but he sometimes would lean back and sonorously intone one of the many Burma Shave billboard slogans that dotted highways in that era: "Whiskers tough old Adam had 'em. Does your husband have whiskers like Adam, Madam?" I liked the sound of that slogan as well. Today, it still pops into my mind during arid moments. And as my wife will attest, she has heard it frequently over the years.

I think it's pretty easy to see, then, why I, as a third-grader, instead of concentrating on multiplication and division, preferred to chant "Patsy Foley's roly-poly from eating too much ravioli." I am glad, however, that the nuns took it upon themselves to discipline me and did not call my parents instead. After all, my father was paying tuition to send me to that fine school to get a good education. He did not send me there to engage in tom-foolery, a pursuit that he, of course, would have known nothing about even if his legacy among relatives said otherwise.

Besides, in my mind, no nun, no matter how mountainous she may have been, was a match for my father. He had been a boxer after he had emigrated to America from Ireland, a relocation occasioned by the British army after they had imprisoned him as a young man for activities in the Irish Republican Army. My mother said he loved boxing and had won eight straight matches before "some big black guy" broke his nose. After that, he never boxed again, she said, because he "didn't want to lose his good looks." He was a handsome man indeed, despite a nose that looked as though at any moment it might call geese to fly lower.

Years later, some neighbor ladies at a block party made some nice comments to my mother about my father's appearance. When she came home, she told my sister what they had said and forewarned her that "handsome is as handsome does." In many ways, that's quite true, even though that line didn't originate with my mother. Come to think of it, though, I like the sound of that line as well and might have chanted it more than once had I heard it in third grade.


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Donal Mahoney has had work published in various print and electronic publications in North America, Europe, Asia and Africa. Some of his earliest work can be found at http://booksonblog12.blogspot.com/
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Potatoes, Beets and Three Oranges

Contributor: Andrew Stancek

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The greengrocer has taped photos of the new supermodel Twiggy, ripped from a fashion magazine, to his store window. My train leaves in forty minutes; my suitcase bulges. I stop to catch a breath, to admire the glossy beauty and peering inside the store through the grimy window I see a mound of oranges, not seen in Bratislava in months. The greengrocer must still be spreading the word to his cronies after a middle of the night delivery but they’ll be gone before the store opens at eight. I rap on the window, rattle it hard. My knuckles hurt but I don’t stop till a beer-bellied man with a three-day beard opens the door a crack and growls, “Closed, can’t you see we’re closed. Stop the goddamn racket.”

“I’ll take five kilos of the oranges,” I say, thrusting a hundred-crown note at him. He steps back.

“No oranges. Only potatoes and beets.”

I take another hundred-crown note out of my wallet, point at the pile. “These invisible oranges. I’ll take five kilos.”

“Every single one is spoken for, sefko. My blasted daughter didn’t pull the shutters closed last night. No oranges by opening time. You aren’t seeing them.”

If I had oranges to give to Dasa, I wouldn’t have to catch the 8:02 train. I wouldn’t have to knock on the door of a brother I haven’t seen in twelve years, with an unspoken plea. If I have to keep arguing with this bastard, I might not catch the train. But if I trundle back up the stairs with a bagful, she might soften like ripe cheese, take me back. She didn’t mean it when she said I’m a useless provider on top of being a goddamn drunk and a cheat. If I have an orange I can take a sharp knife, cut the orange into thirds, feed a third to little Palko, feed a third to her and she’ll take the last third and...

“I don’t need five kilos. I’ll take three. Give me three oranges. Whatever they’re paying you, the goddamn smrady in the council office, I’ll top their price. Look, three hundred crowns for three stinking oranges. You can tell the burzujs you got shorted, that you don’t have as many as you thought. No one will ever know.”

He stares at the banknotes in my hand, greed pulsing a vein in his forehead. He snatches them, motions me into the store. “Three, that’s all you get. Pick them quickly and get out.”

They smell of warm soil and full-throated laughter and I already feel their sunshine spreading on Dasa’s tongue as she tells me “Forever, we’ll be together forever.”

I caress the fragrant skin, juggle one-two-three in the face of the glaring store-keeper. Wings sprout out of my shoulder blades. “I’ll come back later for my suitcase,” I say and fly, fly home, clutching my gift.


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Andrew Stancek’s stories can be found in Tin House, Flash Fiction Chronicles, The Linnet’s Wings, fwriction, Every Day Fiction, Gemini Magazine (Grand Prize Winner), THIS Literary Magazine, LA Review and Windsor Review.
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Unearthed

Contributor: Jenne Lee

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Cheyenne twisted the golden band around her finger, its emerald jewel glistening under the florescent lights of the freezing cold morgue. The sterile sent of cleaning supplies lingered with the metallic taste of blood as Stephanie continued scrubbing the metal counters while Declan sewed up their latest project.

“I finished closing up the John Doe,” said Declan after he scrubbed his hands at the sink. “Is there anything else, Dr. Osiris?”

Cheyenne shook her dark curls. “No, Declan. That’s all for tonight.”

“Are you sure you don’t need any more help with the exhumed body?” Stephanie asked.

The doctor looked across the room at the corpse covered by the white sheet. It was a special request by a private client. She wanted to handle this on her own. “I’ll be fine.” She gave her medical assistants a smile before sending them on their way.

When she was alone, Cheyenne approached the body lying on the cold hard slab. She sat down in a chair beside it, crossing her legs as she studied the emerald gem. The morgue was silent except for the hum of the florescent lights and the fan from the freezers. The air was still, but her occasional glance towards the clock on the wall and the breath she breathed. She was alone other than the dead laying in the refrigerated storage lining the wall behind her and the corpse lifeless beneath the sheet in front of her. With a sigh, she gave the stone a quick twist.

There was a change in the air. The lights flickered around her, but Cheyenne didn’t flinch. Her brown eyes focused on the white sheet as it began to rise. The sheet fell away as the corpse sat up, revealing the pale torso of a blue-eyed brunette teenager. The boy sat staring at the doctor with fear and confusion in his sapphire eyes.

“Where am I?” he asked.

Cheyenne replied, “Do you know who you are?”

“I’m Jaxon Oliver. I’m the guitarist in a band.”

“You are,” the doctor agreed. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Jaxon narrowed his eyes. “It was dark and cold. It was snowing really hard. My band and I were on a private plane heading for Montana.”

“That’s right,” said Cheyenne. “Do you remember what happened after that?”

Jaxon nodded scratching the back of his head. “The pilot said something about being lost. The storm was too heavy and the instruments were malfunctioning. We shouldn’t have been flying through the storm.” He closed his eyes and shook his head, burying his face into his cold hands before pulling his hands back and studying them. They were pale with a greenish tint and dirt under his long yellowing fingernails. He raised a hand to his chest as he glanced around the unfamiliar room before looking up at Cheyenne. His sapphire eyes were wide with horror. “Am I dead?”

“You are.” Cheyenne was calm. She had given this answer many times over the years. This wasn’t her first talking corpse. “I’m sorry Jaxon, but you didn’t survive the plane crash.”

“My friends? What about my band? Did they?”

“I’m sorry, but there were no survivors,” replied the doctor.

Jaxon was silent. His eyes were wide as he stared at the floor. The doctor gave him a moment for it all to sink in. Finally he responded. “We crashed, didn’t we?”

“It happened a few years ago. You crashed into a corn field,” Cheyenne explained.

The musician raised a bushy eyebrow. “A few years ago? Did it take that long to find us?”

Cheyenne shook her head. “No. A farmer heard the crash and found you right away,” she explained. “You were buried, but your family had you exhumed. There were some unanswered questions surrounding your death.”

“Do you think I was murdered?”

“Of course not, sweetie.” The doctor remained calm. “The farmer who found the plane claims that you survived the crash and that you were out walking around. He ran back to the house to call for help. By the time the emergency vehicles arrived, you were…”

Jaxon bit his lip in concentration. It wasn’t easy remembering the exact moment of when you died. Everything became dark and cold. You felt alone. Everything about that crash felt that way. He could remember the way the snow crunched beneath his bare feet. How his body shivered from the frigid temperature or it could have been the fear and the shock of the event that he had been through, he wasn’t sure. Worst of all, he remembered their faces and the guilt he felt each time the icy air filled his lungs.

“How did you do it?” Cheyenne asked pulling him back to the present. “I’ve examined you from head to toe. You had a few fractures, but nothing life threatening. Your organs were not damaged. Your head was fine. I found no trace of gun shot wounds like some theories suggest. The toxicology reports were negative. You weren’t out there long enough for hypothermia to set in. How did you stop your guilt from consuming you?”

Jaxon shrugged. “How did you bring me back from the dead?”

The doctor twisted the golden band around her ring finger. “No one has ever asked me that before.”

“No one has ever brought me back from the dead before.”

“It’s an old family secret.”

“Then I guess I died in a plane crash.”

Cheyenne smiled. “Have a nice afterlife then.” Before the musician could say anymore, she turned the stone counter-clockwise. The corpse landed back onto the cold slap with a lifeless thump. The doctor stood from her chair and reached for the sheet. She pulled it up to cover the teen before wheeling the gurney over to the storage wall. She chose a pre-marked door, opened it and slid the gurney into the narrow compartment. “Rest in peace, Jaxon Oliver.”


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Jenne is currently a creative writing major at Full Sail University where she hopes to gain the skills and tools necessary for reaching her goals of becoming a published author. When she is not writing, she is usually lost between the pages of a book, far beyond the reaches of reality.
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Capacity

Contributor: Brian Armour

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`In the brevity, was there capacity for colour, detail, familiarity, understanding or warmth in the progress, the structure, the bones - the necessities of function that need remain?’ considered Dr Eric Siedbet walking down the empty underground platform. He surveyed the grime besmirched cavern-like walls against which his steps echoed.
Screaming, twisted metal heralded the contorted misshapen first carriage filling the tunnel entry propelled by derailed carriages behind. Freed of the restrictions of the tunnel, a carriage leapt, side onto the platform and jammed against the wall wiped it clean, of advertising, furniture, signage, some grime, some soot and Eric Siedbet.
On the opposite platform, Jason saw events unfolding and dived for cover inside a stairway as metal and glass exploded into the space. He covered his head while the deafening steel and concrete argument continued, until gravity with an eternal groan, replaced momentum. The reverberating cries of the injured wove their way through smoke and broken, upended carriages to fill his ears. Though the ground beneath him ceased shaking, he had not. Broken glass fell from his back as he stood, knees buckling. Across from the opening was the top of a carriage, roof torn open, squashed beneath another carriage broken in two and compressed into the ceiling of the underground station. Jason climbed onto the wreckage to aid the injured wondering what the man on the other platform meant. He was sure he heard his thoughts. Kicking away the remaining glass of a window, he wondered about that too.
Jason lowered himself down through the opening into the carriage. He placed a foot carefully alongside an inert body under the frame of a seat torn loose, stomach down on a sea of smashed glass. To his right a twisted avalanche of metal fittings, seats, bodies, newspaper, bags and personal possessions formed a wall of compressed confusion and irretrievable misery. He turned away, the moans and cries of survivors coming from his left.
He knelt down beside a man in a suit whose leg was bent back so the heel of his shoe was behind his ear. From under his contorted body spread a growing puddle of blood.
"Hey there, mate.” He put his hand on the man’s shoulder. The man grabbed it. Jason felt him trying to contain waves of indescribable pain. “It’ll be okay. Hang on. The medico’s will be here soon.”
Leaving the man he looked down the interior of the mangled carriage. Midst a tangle of seats, he saw a woman lying by the windows rolling her head back and forth in pain. The entire right side of her face appeared ripped off, but there was so much blood he could not be sure. He wrenched away a pile of debris to get to her.
“It’s okay, you’re alive. It’s over now. Help will be here soon.” Pulling off his shirt, he wadded it up and held it against the side of her face.
“Wha . . . ap . . . n?”


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Brian lives south of Sydney, Australia and is preparing another novel and a book of short stories for publication.
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Prisoner of Illusion

Contributor: Jeanelle Nicole Driver

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I can’t focus on the memories, shifting and swirling in an incomprehensible fog. My mind’s eye clouded by worries and doubt. I am a stranger in my own mind. I reach for still frames, snapshots, times when the world looked bright and carefree. Why is it all but lost to me now? Why can’t I break free?

This room is a cage, set up for my own protection…

“Where are you at, Alexis?” my sister said.

Her voice sounded tinny and far away, her touch but a shadow in my thoughts.

“Don’t bother me, Diana,” I said. “It doesn’t matter now.”

I heard her sigh and flop down on the bed.

“Oh, please, not this again.”

I scooted away from her warmth and opened my eyes. She would never understand, could never understand.

“You act like you’re the one suffering,” I said. “Why won’t you leave me in peace?”

She grunted and sat up. Ready to launch into the same tired argument.

“I’d leave you in peace if I could, believe me,” she said. “I have to stay.”

I shoved my feet off the bed and began to pace the small generically furnished hotel room, the white walls and worn bedspreads bringing me no solace. I suppose it was better than the alternative, but I hated it just the same. Nothing felt right anymore.

I became more and more agitated as my footsteps pounded across the room back and forth and back again.

“I don’t need a keeper. I don’t need your pity,” I said balling my hands into tight fists. “Get out of here before I break you too.”

Diana watched me. I could feel her eyes boring into my back. Her feet hit the floor and her arms wrapped around me. I gritted my teeth as she slid her hands down my arms and pried my fingers open. Her head rested like a lead weight on my shoulder.

“None of that,” she said. “I am not letting you go back there.”

I tried to pull away but she held me fast, her grip bruising. This only frustrated me further.

“Damn it, Diana, can’t you see that’s what I want?” I said. I’m no good to anyone like this. I’ve lost myself. No medicine or vigil will bring that back.”

Diana turned me around so fast I couldn’t fight her. I saw her face tight with anger, her eyes shining with tears. I was unmoved.

“I am not giving up,” she said. “I will not break. Mom and Dad can argue about this all they want, but you’re my sister. I will help you if it’s the last thing I do, Alexis.”

I felt tears tracing down my cheeks and I threw my arms around her neck. Clinging to her, the one solid force left in my spinning, chaotic world. I would be lost without her.

“I hope you’re right, Diana,” I said. “But, I think it’s time for my pills.”


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Jeanelle Nicole Driver is a single mom of two kids.
She loves to write and share her stories.
She is working diligently toward a career in Creative Writing.
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Precipice

Contributor: Anna Philpot

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Lorraine watched her daughter’s hiking boots inch further over the cliff’s edge.

Cass turned, pushing her thick, dark hair, polished mahogany, from her cheek. She sipped from her water bottle, then hurled it into the ravine. Pebbles spit down the rock face and Cass’s feet slid forward.

Lorraine yelped as her hand snaked around her daughter’s arm, pulling her back.

“I’m done,” Cass whispered.

“You couldn’t know you and Jeremy both carried the gene. The chances are one in over 1,600 for crying out loud! Cassie, you’re a scientist. You understand probability.”

Lorraine shook her daughter until Cass’s head snapped back and Lorraine looked into her daughter’s tear-glaze eyes.

“ Jeremy was going to leave,” Cass said, eyes flashing defiantly. “Leave me to deal with Angela’s dying. He told me so. But she died that day. He had to watch her die, too, knowing we did that to her. Cass’s voice drifted off, just as her eyes slid back to the precipice.

“Cassie, I’m here. We can make it through.”

“I don’t know how anymore,” Cass murmured, shoving her wet hair from her face, wiping her dripping nose on the thick fleece sleeve. “I think about what she’d be able to do now. Walking, talking. We didn’t get to any of it.”

Cass rested her head on her mother’s shoulder and wept.


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Anna Philpot is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in American Way, Celebrated Living, Parenting and Virtuoso Life magazines. She prefers writing fiction while sitting at her kitchen table, her huge dog snoring at her feet.
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Apple Sauce

Contributor: Jerry Guarino

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Julie walked in with her laptop case over her shoulder. Her long brown hair pulled through a crimson velvet scrunchy, draped behind her blue blazer, over the cranberry cardigan sweater, over the white oxford, accented by the Harvard tie which went with the plaid, pleated skirt that highlighted the knee socks which sat atop the cordovan clogs. In short, she was the dream girl of every code savvy programmer in Cambridge. “Hi, my name is Julie Bowen.”

Hi Julie, I’m Zach” said the college sophomore in jeans and t-shirt. Zach was one of those code savvy programmers, working a part time job in the hopes of meeting girls like Julie. He wasn’t a bad looking guy, just not in the same league as Julie, sort of like your company softball team versus the Red Sox.

Hi Zach.” At this point, Zach could feel his heart beating. Not that this was the first time he talked with such a vision. In fact, beautiful women were lining up to meet with him on a daily basis.

How can I help you Julie?” Zach could smell the expensive perfume Julie was wearing, light but classy, just like her.

There’s something wrong with my mail program. It works on my phone, but not on my laptop.” She smiled at Zach in that way beautiful women do, not encouraging anything more than friendship, but genuinely grateful.

Well, let’s see what we can do.” Julie put her laptop on the counter, turned it on, entered the password and passed it to Zach. “This doesn’t sound too serious.” He quickly and deftly checked the mail program, the settings and tested the incoming server. “Yes, I see the problem. But I know how to fix it.” Within minutes, her program was working again.

What was wrong?” she said while flicking her bangs to the side.

Sometimes the other company servers hiccup and it changes the settings. I just reset it. No problem.” Zach, always the professional, and hoping to prolong the encounter, offered his parting phrase. “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

I guess not. Thanks very much Zach.” She packed up her laptop, and then offered her hand. “You’re welcome,” said Zach. “Have a good day.” Julie turned slowly, giving Zach one more friendly smile. Julie glided gracefully toward the big glass door, and then looked back once more. Zach waved, sighing to himself. “I love my job.”



Later, at another bar, this one on Dunster Street, Zach and his friends were having a beer and watching the Celtics. “Looks like they’re ready for the playoffs” he said. “Yeah, and the Bruins too. Makes the cold Boston winter bearable. It must be tough for places like Toronto, stuck inside watching two lousy teams. Must be why they drink so much up there.”

Then he saw three Harvard coeds coming in, shaking off snow from their UGGs and taking off scarves and wool caps. Zach thought he recognized one of them. The girls sat down at a booth. “Excuse me,” said Zach to his buddies, as he tried to walk nonchalantly to the rest room.

Hey, Zach” Julie said as he passed by while Julie’s friends looked up. Zach did his best to act surprised, even though he had smelled her perfume.

Hi. It’s Julie, right?” Zach paused long enough to be polite, without acting too eager. “Mail problem?”

Email, yes. This is Debbie and Karen. Zach fixed my computer last week. He’s a genius.”

Small G, Julie, small G.”

We’re just having drinks and some bar food. Want to join us?”

Well, I’m with a couple friends” pointing to the bar, “watching the game.”

That’s ok, we can go to that big table.” Zach called for the waitress to set them up. “Can we get six here please?”

Over the next hour, the six talked about living and working in Bean town, the sports teams, life at Harvard. Then Karen excused herself. “Well, I have an early class and a paper to finish. Sorry but I’ll have to go.” Julie and Debbie nodded that they should go to.

May I walk you back?” said Zach.

I’d like that thanks,” said Karen. As the girls left, Karen whispered something into Julie’s ear, gave her a hug and headed out with Zach.

As they walked out, Zach turned and looked back at Julie, smiling. Julie gave him a little wave and sighed to herself.


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Jerry Guarino’s short stories have been published by dozens of magazines in the United States, Canada, Australia and Great Britain. His latest book, "50 Italian Pastries", is available on Amazon.com and as a Kindle eBook. Please visit his website at http://cafestories.net
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Ha!

Contributor: Michael White


Giant centipedes terrify me. Giant centipedes have always terrified me. It might have a little to do with their many legs or their mini eyes or maybe those two horn-like things, which sometimes curl back to look like a gentleman’s mustache.

Whatever it is about giant centipedes, which continue to terrify me even now, my greatest fear, my strangest fear, this outrageous fear in me is that someday I will turn into one. I know this to be an illogical fear. But if you, like me, had way back seen a giant centipede tear a snake in two, then you, like me, might be afraid of the bastards too.

And maybe if you had been bitten by said snake and paralyzed by said snake and forced to watch said snake be torn in two, you, like me, might have experienced a giant centipede crawl about you with its many legs, look about you with its mini eyes, and prickyoukissyou with those two horn-like things, which sometimes curl back to look like a gentleman’s mustache.

Maybe. But I suppose I cannot be sure. What I can be sure of is what terrifies me, and what terrifies me is the giant centipede.

Now, I have been told before of the exotic tastes of those beautiful sun-dried Chinamen to the East—how on some streets and some stands one can buy a fat-fried centipede on a stick for cheap, maybe one American dollar or two American dollars, though never enough to paralyze your wallet. I wish to travel there someday. I will travel there someday. I am traveling there at this precise moment and on this precise plane of planes like a jet-fueled throne in the sky. And when I arrive, I will pay up to five American dollars to trample over my fear, tooth-by-tooth and bite-by-bite. In fact, make it ten American dollars, which I am afraid is worth much less now than before, but then again most things are.

Whatever the cost, whatever my fear, and however the giant centipede appeals and pleads, I will chomp down like a vice grip on its mini eyes, nibble on its many legs, and pick my teeth with those two horn-like things, which sometimes curl back to look like a gentleman’s mustache.

You might be asking yourself, “Why would he perform such a frightening act?” Well I can tell you the answer to your quandary is both simple and sound—this is so with most quandaries after you have cleared away the grime of pretension. I answer you thus: I do this because I can, because the fear-ridden often become the best monsters, and because someone along the broken road once told me, “if you enjoy frightening others, you will be reborn as a centipede.” Very well, I say, very well—Ha!


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Originally from Chicago, IL, Michael White is a current full-time student at Full Sail University in Winter Park, FL. He is working toward his bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing for Entertainment.
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It's Almost Sunday Morning

Contributor: Donal Mahoney

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In the summer of 1956, any Saturday at midnight, especially when the moon was out and the stars were bright, you would be able to see Grandma Groth sitting on her front-porch swing waiting for her son, Clarence, a bachelor at 53, to make it home from the Blind Man's Pub. He would have spent another evening quaffing steins of Heineken's.

Many times that summer before I went away to college, I'd be strolling home at midnight from another pub, just steps behind staggering Clarence. But unlike Clarence, I’d be sober so I'd always let him walk ahead of me and I'd listen to him hum "The Yellow Rose of Texas." Sometimes, very quietly, I’d join in. I don’t think he ever heard me.

However, on the last Saturday night that Clarence and I came down the street in our odd tandem, I didn't see Grandma on her swing even though the stars were out and the moon was full. For some odd reason, on this particular night, she wasn't waiting to berate him.

So far so good, I thought, for Clarence. He won’t have to listen to Grandma give him hell. But then, not far from his house, and without warning, he toppled into Mrs. Murphy's hedge. It was like watching a sack of flour fall, in slow motion, off a truck.

When I finally got him up, I managed to maneuver Clarence slowly down the sidewalk toward his house. He didn’t make a sound but it wasn't easy moving a man that big who was essentially asleep on his feet.

Somehow I got him through his back door only to encounter Grandma, a wraith in a hazy nightgown, standing in the hallway, screaming. She began thrashing Clarence with her broom, pausing only for a moment to tell me,

"Go home to your mother now so you won't be late for Mass. It's almost Sunday morning!"

After that, she resumed thrashing Clarence. He never made a sound, just took the blows across his back, head bowed, without moving. But Clarence was a man who said very little even when he was sober.

After that sad night in 1956, I never saw Clarence again, either marching to work in the morning, his lunch pail gallantly swinging, or staggering home at midnight from the Blind Man's Pub.

But many a midnight after that, years later, I'd be coming home from the other pub and I'd see Grandma reigning on her front porch swing, broom in hand, waiting. Maybe Clarence was coming, I thought. But if he was, I never saw him.

I remember coming home from college every summer and asking the neighbors if they had seen Clarence. Not a sign of him, they said. But on a Saturday night when the moon was out, they’d still see Grandma, on her swing, waiting.

Now, so many decades later, as I stroll home at midnight, after an evening at the Blind Man’s Pub, I can see the moon is as big as it was the last night I saw Clarence.

Suddenly I realize I’m older now than Clarence was the night he disappeared. And even though Grandma's been dead for many years, I can see her in the starlight. She's sitting regally on that swing, broom in hand, waiting. So for old time’s sake, I give her a big wave, hoping to hear her say, just one more time,

"Go home to your mother now so you won't be late for Mass. It's almost Sunday morning!"


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Donal Mahoney has had work published in various print and electronic publications in North America, Europe, Asia and Africa. Some of his earliest work can be found at http://booksonblog12.blogspot.com/
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A Refreshed Perception

Contributor: Andrew Vrana

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I was there this morning as the sun peeked coyly through steel mountains, standing in the incessant line like so many mornings before, taking step after mindless step to carry myself ever closer to those automatic doors that have an appetite for the chronically mundane. I had to step carefully: I could not encroach upon the body in front of me nor let the one behind get too close. We had to move as one droning entity to keep up the desired illusory order.

Before the sun showed me its full face, I was inside, shivering against the bitter cold and feeling naked in the filthy glow of artificial lighting. I was much more conspicuous once inside; the guards on either side of the door sneered at me through faceless helmets. As the doors shut behind me, I gave the tiniest of twitches and shifted my eyes nervously, though I knew anxiousness was unreasonable. They would all know soon enough I was different. I wanted nothing more than to reach the end of the line and run hastily back into the sunlight before crawling back into my hiding place.

Will I never reach the end?

“Your ID please,” the plump woman said, not even glancing at me as she tapped a yellowish claw on the counter. She reeked of bad perfume and wore an air of superiority. Reaching a moist hand into my pocket, I set the plastic card shakily on the indicated spot. Hundreds of trips to dozens of different check-in centers made me dread what was coming next.

“Okay,” she said. “No, please stay there for now.” Here it was. “You—what’s this?” Her accusing gaze found my wide-eyed face for the first time, her mouth curling upward maliciously; I thought I might have seen her tongue shoot out to lick her glistening lips.

Leaning toward me but speaking in a voice that I was sure reached all the way to the doors, she said, “Not Officially Registered, huh? Something wrong with you?” She could hardly get the words out before a deep chuckle.

“Choice…” I said. My voice was a weak whisper, but it did not matter now. “It’s my choice. Do what I want. You know.”

The woman let out a hearty guffaw followed by an endless maniacal cackling, baring her yellow teeth and bombarding me with horrid breath. Behind me the line of bodies echoed her laughter and added audible commentary to intensify my mortification. I lowered my head, skin glistening with sweat that chilled in the cool air and made me shiver.

“Your identity is good for another week,” the woman told me between shouted laughter. She used a grimy fingernail to push my card back toward me. I took it and ran.

I closed my eyes as I reached the door, hearing the guards laugh their metallic song at me and pushing people from their precious spots in the line as I hurried through the door. I did not open my eyes when I saw the red glow of the sun upon my eyelids. I felt it happen. I felt it all crumbling away behind me. Bestial shrieks were drowned by the deafening sound of chaos as steel mountains crumbled inward. I ran on and on, over quaking concrete and melting grass and finally softness, where I at last collapsed and where now I wallow.

When the world on my eyelids turns to blackness, I curl up and hug my knees. I am the World Breaker. I know what I will see if I open my eyes: nothingness, a void, a blank space. I’ve done it again.

But later…

Later I will open my eyes as the World Maker, and everything will be the same again—no, it will be new, slightly different. New streets lined with new steel mountains reflecting the light of the orange sun. Yet I will stand in the same line and see the same people mocking me with blank stares. I will never change them or myself, but I will continue to change the world. Perhaps one day that will be enough.


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